


Be My Little Baby

by Ladderofyears



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Exhaustion, Grandparents & Grandchildren, M/M, Newborn Children, Parent Draco Malfoy, Past Mpreg, Sleep Deprivation, Supportive Narcissa Black Malfoy, Very brief mention of male lactation, struggling draco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:46:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22435117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladderofyears/pseuds/Ladderofyears
Summary: Draco is an exhausted new father, struggling with his baby son's broken sleeping patterns. While Harry is away on a mission, Draco goes to stay at home at Malfoy Manor. Support arrives when Draco needs it the most.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 10
Kudos: 282





	Be My Little Baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [diddleymaz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diddleymaz/gifts).



> For the lovely diddleymaz, who wanted the word _Grandma._
> 
> This story was originally a drabble but I liked the idea so much that I wanted to extend it into a full length story, so here it is. The title is from the wonderful _Ronettes_. 
> 
> All you new parents out there! You're all doing so amazingly well. Narcissa is right! Being a parent is hard work.

Draco hadn’t _ever_ known exhaustion until the day he’d become a father. 

Draco had known tiredness, that much was certain. He’d known how blissful it felt to fall into his bed after a long day of brewing potions and miserable customers. He’d known how wonderful the happy oblivion of sleep felt. Draco had known tiredness. He’d known fatigue. 

But Draco hadn’t ever known the sheer exhaustion of having a new-born baby. 

Jamie Potter-Malfoy was a demanding, finicky baby, full of righteous indignation at any discomfort or any moment of loneliness. Jamie’s cry was loud and piercing and he called Draco to his side at every hour of the day.

As a result, Draco had only slept fitfully for the previous five days, for only a precious few hours at a time. He felt like his grip on sanity was slowly starting to slip. Draco could feel the weariness inside him, draining him like a curse. He knew he was functioning, but he wasn’t really living. Everything around him moved at a dragged pace. Every voice he he heard submerged into a hazy fuzz that he couldn’t truly get a grip on. Every one of his muscles felt strangely dense and all Draco craved was sleep, his husband and a solid night of dreams. 

Draco’s whole body yearned for Harry’s presence, but Draco’s beloved was far away and couldn’t be contacted. 

Harry was trapped on an undercover mission that had come at exactly the wrong time. Stubborn Malfoy pride had seen Draco sending Harry on his way, even though the Auror had argued hard to stay home. In the end, Harry had only left because Draco had agreed to take Jamie and decamp to the Manor for the duration. 

~@~

Draco jerked into full consciousness as Jamie’s colicky scream woke him for the third time that night. He forced himself out of his childhood bed and stumbled down the hall towards the Nursery. 

“Hello baby,” Draco managed, his voice rough with lack of sleep. Jamie was so upset that he’d wriggled out of his bedsheets, and his limbs flailed furiously. Draco picked up his wailing baby and quickly cast a wandless temperature-monitoring spell. Jamie wasn’t poorly at least. “Whatever has happened, sweetpea?” Draco asked, lifting his baby up to kiss his flushed cheeks. “I hate seeing you this upset.”

Despite Draco’s every effort, Jamie simply refused to be pacified. 

His little face was red and livid. He arched his back, fighting Draco’s care with all the strength in his tiny body. Jamie screamed with all his might and Draco thanked Merlin for the existence of silencing charms. The whole of Wiltshire would no doubt have been awake otherwise. Nothing that Draco tried had even the vaugest success. 

He tried walking Jamie around the nursery, but that made his baby cry harder. He bounced Jamie in his arms until they ached but that didn’t make the slightest Sickle of difference. 

Draco tried singing _Ten Green Potion Bottles_ but was far too weary to follow the tune. Jamie wasn’t enjoying the song anyway. Draco tried feeding Jamie, but the baby spat out his nipple with a loud sob. 

Draco tried telling Jamie about the constellations. The pair of them looked out at the frigid Manor Gardens and Draco felt terribly lonely. He felt like Jamie and he were the only souls alive on the Earth. He tried magicking a wondrous light show, but his son wouldn’t settle. Draco’s final idea was giving Jamie a hot bath, which worked a treat while the baby was in the water. As soon as Jamie was taken out, he cried even harder. 

Nothing worked. Draco felt like the worst father in existence. 

Draco clutched his baby to him and felt tears stream down his face. This was payback for all his wrongs, Draco decided. Punishment for all his mistakes. How could he truly be responsible for this tiny, defenceless person? He wasn’t capable, or competent enough! 

_Salazar_. He couldn’t even get Jamie to stop crying, Draco thought wildly, the thoughts unspooling in his brain like a hex. How could he keep Jamie alive- or help him to thrive- when he was so bloody useless? 

Draco was so shaken that hadn’t realised that his Mother had entered the Nursery. She was dressed in an opulent, midnight blue dressing gown and her hair was piled upon her head in an untidy chignon. Narcissa sat down beside Draco and gave him a thoughtful smile. She took Jamie out of Draco’s arms and the baby quietened immediately. 

“Goodness, Draco,” Narcissa said, giving her head a small shake of disappointment. “You’re absolutely exhausted! Whatever compelled you to charm the room quiet? Pippi, my Elf-maid came to find me, darling. She thought something was wrong-”

“Something is bloody wrong!” Draco hissed in reply, his voice breaking with upset. “I haven’t slept properly in weeks. I’m worried about Harry… I _know_ he has to be away. I _understand_ that he can’t be in contact… But I can’t think straight. I feel like I’m flying against the wind… I can’t do this, Mother. I just can’t do this alone. I’m sorry-”

Narcissa squeezed Draco’s fingers with her one free hand. 

“You’re not alone, Draco. That’s why you’re staying here and not at home,” Narcissa replied. With her other hand she rubbed Jamie’s back. “I’m Jamie’s grandmother, and I really do love him. You must realise that you’re not in a fit state to look after Jamie when you’re as emotional and as exhausted as you are currently. You’re not making good decisions, sweetheart. You should have come for help before now.”

Draco heard the stark truth of Narcissa’s words and a part of his heart shattered. 

He’d so wanted to be the perfect father: calm, controlled and utterly able. Instead, here he was, sobbing in his childhood Nursery because he wasn’t coping. Wasn’t managing. 

He felt like such a failure. Draco felt his whole body start to tremble and he buried his head in his hands. 

“I’m his bloody father,” Draco managed eventually, the lump in his throat making it hard to speak. “This should be easy! It should come naturally… But I can’t get Jamie to stop crying. Can’t get him to sleep. If I can’t even manage the basics then really, what _actual_ good am I?”

Narcissa sighed. She stroked an untidy strand of Draco’s hair behind his ear. It was a comforting gesture and reminded Draco of his childhood. They’d often just sat together, even when Draco was a very small boy. He had shared his problems and worries, and Narcissa had always taken him seriously. 

“Maybe Harry and I rushed into having Jamie,” Draco said sadly. “It felt like we’d wasted so much time. We both had so much love to give… But maybe I’m just not cut out to give him comfort? I must be doing something wrong. Perhaps Jamie doesn’t love me, or-”

“Nonsense, Draco. Utter nonsense.” Narcissa cut in, her voice sharp. “Jamie is a baby. You’re his entire world. His sun and moon. Nobody could love him as much as Harry and you, dear.” She brushed a kiss over Jamie’s downy head. “Babies _are_ difficult. You weren't the sleepiest of children yourself, Draco. There were some trying moments when you were a child, believe me. You’re doing wonderfully. Do give yourself some credit.”

“I don’t like asking for support though,” Draco replied, pulling his dressing gown tight around his shoulders. The room wasn’t warm, so he cast a subtle warming spell over the three of them. “I feel like I’m letting Jamie down.”

“You’re so like your father… Too proud to ask when you’re not coping,” Narcissa replied. “There isn’t shame in asking for help. No child is more doted on than Jamie but you can’t expect to function properly when you’re absolutely worn out.” She placed Jamie back into Draco’s arms. He wasn’t crying any longer, and for the first time in several hours looked relaxed enough to finally sleep. “Before you ask, I’ve not used magic,” Narcissa said. “Jamie could feel how upset you were getting and that in turn wound him up. Put him back in his Moses basket and go to sleep, Draco. I’ll look after him.”

Draco gently lowered his baby into his basket. Jamie’s eyes gave a final flutter as he was placed into the cottony blankets but within moments he was fast asleep. 

“He really is beautiful, isn’t he?” Draco asked, gazing at his son. “I do know how blessed I am.” 

Narcissa smiled. “Very much so. Jamie looks exactly like you did at the same age and, might I add, has the very same temperament. Now, to bed Draco. I don’t expect to see you till mid morning either.”

Draco gave Narcissa a kiss on her cheek, breathing in the sweet scent of her rose perfume. For the first time in several days, he was starting to feel a little bit more like himself. Perhaps, Draco thought, he might really be as good a father as his Mother believed him to be. 

“Thank you,” Draco murmured, and padded quietly towards the door. With one final, appreciative smile, he walked up the corridor back to his bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading xxxx


End file.
